Fireside Chat

Artist's Statement

                As I prepared my Fireside Chat, I began to brainstorm things that I believed strongly in.  The belief that people become what you treat them like they are rose to the top of the list because it is a belief I have a passion for and one that governs much of what I do and the person I strive to become.

                In my experience, if a person is treated like a "problem child," they will be trapped into being one, and that if someone is treated like they are stupid, they are less likely to develop a habit of critical thinking.  On the flip side, I also believe that if someone is treated with affection, fondness, and respect, they will usually earn that treatment retroactively.

                One of the major experiences of my life that taught me this was a friendship that began when I was five.  I did not know my best friend has sever asperger syndrome, and the Spirit, for some reason, chose to allow me to understand her.  She has grown into a funny, charming, well spoken, polite, sweet, cheerful, passionate lady.  I have come to understand that her growth was at least in part assisted by the fact that I was able to understand her, although through no merit of my own, and therefore did not treat her like she was disabled our entire lives.  I love that sweet girl so much, and I am simply very, very blessed to have been granted the priceless opportunity to be her confidant in little ways.  I certainly do not feel like I deserved such a gift.

                Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag discusses the fact that people connect much more deeply and lastingly to events supported by photographic evidence.  When preparing my fireside chat, I greatly regretted that I do not have photos of us as children with me in Utah because I knew it would have made her story so much more real to those listening.

                In the end, my Fireside Chat presentation reminded me of a much abbreviated Ted Talk.  I thought about all of the spins I could take on her story, but in the end, I just wanted to share that experience in simple way.

                It was a very special opportunity to be able to share something I feel so tenderly about with my friends and classmates, as well as to see and understand each of them on a deeper and more empathetic level.  

Concerned Citizen

Documentary

Artist's Statement

                I am so glad we had this assignment.  I had never heard the National Parks before, and not only did I love their music, but the lead member of the band who we interviewed turned out to be one of the nicest people I have ever met.  He was incredibly humble about both his success as a musician and his charity work.

                Some documentaries about "concerned citizens" are specifically cut and edited to make the subject look as selfless and giving as possible.  For example, the makers of the documentary about Mitt Romney, simply entitled, Mitt, definitely had a political bias.  Personally, I am sure that Mitt Romney actually is a wonderful human being, but it would be foolish and naive to pretend that it was one hundred percent objective.

                However, we did not even have to sneakily edit a cut of the interview that would paint him in a humble and sincere light, because every single thing he said actually was humble and sincere.  It would have been quite a trick to try to paint him as anything but humble.

                As is expressed in Human Rights and Culture by A. Goldbard, creativity often plays a huge role in social change.  Art is appealing, and uses pathos to convey a message.  Essentially, people like experiencing art, and it makes them feel deeply.  When people feel things, they are far more likely to do things.  It is pretty simple when it comes down to it.

                The influence of creativity and art on society can of course be misused.  I think that there is a reason propaganda is often aesthetically pleasing.  People like looking at it, and the nice colors make them feel good, so they feel good about the message, even if the message is bad.

                That does not mean that using art to convey a message in an aesthetically pleasant way in order to make people want to get on board with the mission is inherently an evilly manipulative ploy.  It can be, but it can be used for positive purposes, like the way that the National Parks use music to raise money and concern for the national parks of America.

                I think that art can give communities something to gather around in a way.  A creative work can be like a point of gravity for people who feel strongly about a common cause to come together over.  They can all identify with the particular piece of art, so they can identify with each other.  Art can articulate, in a creative and beautiful way, the thoughts and feelings that they all share.

Game For Change

Surviving the Web

Artist's Statement

                A few days ago, I started ranting about all of the ways that Facebook has the potential to make life weird.  I continued to think about it in a broader sense and became very impassioned about the way that the internet as a whole is abused in ways that affect people's lives and I decided that misuse of the internet was the topic I wanted to address in my Game for Change.

                The Half the Sky Movement takes a literal approach, which I think is a very effective way of communicating its themes.   I decided to be more metaphorical.  Different monsters, robots, and pests represent the various perils that many people inevitably encounter on the internet on a regular basis.  The protagonist of the game has to defeat these monsters that the internet is attacking him with.

                Other games address serious topics like racism and hate crime violence by giving the player a choice.  In Bioshock Infinite, the player is handed a rock and must decide whether or not to help stone an interracial couple for entertainment.  It is heavy stuff, and if works very well to get the point across.  However, I think that the internet often does not work that way.  It is thrown at us and we have to deal with it.  How we deal with it determines whether or not it destroys us.  That may seem melodramatic, but I have had too many experiences in my life and in the lives of those I am closest to that have taught me the depth of that danger to down play it.

                The first level of my Game for Change is about the way that Facebook is misused.  It seems comical, but I find the way that people inappropriately broadcast the intimate details of their lives on public social media more than just annoying.  I find it deeply troubling.

                The second level is about cyber bullying.  The vampire bats are symbolic of the hurt and the assaultiveness of that experience.  The ninja at the end of the level represents the cyber bully himself.

                The third level deals with memes, reddit, YouTube, and that whole, massive, collection of random pieces of media to be browsed through.  In my experience, those feeds are frequently  mostly ignorant, disgusting, unkind, overtly sexual, or otherwise inappropriate, with a few funny or interesting gems interspersed.  All of the rubble you have to sort through to find those gems crowds your mind and desensitize you.  I do not hate memes, gifs, or YouTube.  I think they are potentially fantastic tools that are all too easily and frequently misused in harmful ways.

                The fourth and final level of my game addresses pornography.  I deliberately constructed that level so that you would only see the "Not Safe for Work Sign," and not the gaping hole in the ground.  You just suddenly fall through having followed that path of links, getting burned on the way down to face a monster that is difficult, but very possible,  to beat.

Webspinna

Pokemon Theme Song

Dubstep Digimon Theme Song

Thunder Storm

Technologic

Poem 0:07

Overpower

Charizard 2:20

I See Fire

Greese 0:21

Pikachu!

Trouble When You Walk In

Music

Digivolve

Colors of the Wind 1:14

Overpower

Electro Ball

Defeat

The Winner is Ash! 5:16

Music 0:15 

Artist's Statement

                I love the opening line of The Ecstasy of Influence.   "Plagiarism or Inspiration?"  I really appreciate that approach.  I think that building on the artistic achievements of the past is a perfectly legitimate creative strategy.  What if when the laptop had been invented it had been shot down because someone had said "Um, I feel like you're just copying and slightly altering the existing invention of the computer.  That is super unoriginal."  That would be ridiculous, and yet somehow, that happens all the time in the world of art.

                A massive amount of the humor in our modern day entertainment media comes from pop culture references, so much so that if you are not up to date on them, many jokes will go completely over your head.  Conan humorously addressed this on his show  ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxA_DFtbVXk ).  Often, it is by taking a well known line or catchphrase and placing it in a different context.  It is funny because we recognize the reference and appreciate the creative recontextualization of a familiar icon.  There were a lot of laughs during the Webspinna battles and that is why. 

                Creating a persona was fun, and for me, it was an opportunity to revisit and embrace something I had loved as very young child but had not seen for over a decade.  I took on the character of Ash Ketchum from Pokemon.  I starting watching it again on Netflix, remembered why I had loved it as a child, and fell in love with it all over again.  Pokemon is just great, and I loved diving into it. 

                I really enjoyed the creative process of choreographing the live mix.  I loved having to really think about what element of the character I was going to hone in on, and then search for sound clips that communicated that theme specifically.  I really enjoyed the collaboration of this project.  Having a partner to share the creative process with was great.  It was my partner, Max Carter, who suggested I play Colors of the Wind from the movie Pokahontas.  I do not know that I would have necessarily thought of that on my own, and it was my favorite moment of our Webspinna Battle.

                The performance was a blast, but one thing that was interesting for me was that I was so focused on getting my clips ready and set to start at the right moment within each clip that I almost forgot to relish in the character for a bit of it.  This surprised me because of my background as an actor.  For a minute, I almost forgot that I was on stage, not just the sounds I was cueing.

World Building

        The human race was burning through its energy sources at a deadly rate.  Soon, there would be nothing left.  In this moment of crisis, PATHOS came forward with The Perfect Solution. 

        They had discovered a way to harness the power of human emotion.  It was clean, pure energy.  Clinics opened up that allowed people to come in and donate their emotions to the greater good.  These clinics were immensely popular, and the experimental process was a success. 

        Soon, PATHOS realized that different emotions produce different kinds of energies and that a balance was required to keep the world running smoothly.  The System was created.

        The nation was divided into four quadrants, The Kindergarten, and The Capital.  The Capital is the sector from which the government operates.  When a woman becomes pregnant, she goes to The Kindergarten*.  After giving birth, she goes to Tranquility to continue in The System.  Children are raised in The Kindergarten until they reach the age of twelve, when they have the exciting opportunity to join The System.

        In the system, individuals cycle through the four quadrants independently, and at their own pace.  They move from Exhilaration, to Depression, to Rage, to Tranquility, and back to Exhilaration to continue in The System.  Each quadrant has been specially designed to illicit the specific emotion it collects. When each individual arrives in a quadrant, their implant is swapped.  For example, an individual arriving in Rage will have their Depression implant painlessly and humanely removed and replaced with a Rage implant.  Each implant has a lighted meter visible through the skin near the inside of the wrist.  When the meter is full, then the individual has reached their emotional quota for that quadrant, and it is time for them to move on.

        The System allows everyone to experience a full and balanced life while selflessly and nobly doing their duty.  Everyone contributes to the greater good, powering the world through their own pure emotions.  It truly is The Perfect Solution.

*Kindergarten stems from the German for "Garden of Children"

Textual Poaching

Media Mix

Artist's Statement

                I knew from the start that I was going to choose the song There's No Business Like Show Business for this project.  For as long as I can remember I knew that I wanted to act.  I remember watching Audrey Hepburn movies as a very little girl and being so drawn to the beauty of it.  Performance holds a strong spiritual draw for me, and that song moves me deeply.  I have a testimony of the righteous influence that can be had through performing, and I feel very reverently toward that iconic song.

                The role of a performer is one of the strongest aspects of my identity.  My role as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is an even stronger part of who I am.  That is why I chose to combine There's No Business Like Show Business with I am a Child of God.  There are so many musical mash ups out there, like this one by "DeclanMakesMusic" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNVbdRWnf40.  I have always found music incredibly inspiring.  My mother is a professional musician, and my father is something of a music guru.  I was raised with an immense appreciation for the power of music, and that is something that plays a huge role in my life.  For these reasons, a musical mash up was my first instinct for this assignment.

                The series of images entitled "RETROSPECT - An American Classic Revisited" represent the ways that an existing image came to hold different meanings for different people over time.  The idea has morphed as the country has grown.  My Textual Poaching project represents the way that the idea of "Showbiz" has become a deeply spiritual thing to me as I have grown.

                The two labels of actress and Mormon have been so interesting to wear together, especially outside of Utah.  In Dallas, I only ever met two other LDS actresses, only one of whom was fully active.  I was amazed I found any.

                I have encountered resentment in the theatre industry for my religious convictions, and some firm disapproval from members of the church for my career choice.  I have found that the only way that people ever come around to respect my choice is when I wear that identity up front and without shame or hesitation, and with the confidence that I am using my gifts in the way that Lord would have me do.

Medium Specificity

 Artist's Statement 

                I have always been intrigued by drawing's capacity to portray minimalist, yet vibrant, pictures in ways film, or almost any other medium, would have great difficulty acomplishing.  Drawing is exciting in that it is limitless.  There is not end to the ways you can look at something.  When filming, you are bound to a certain level of realism, in that while images can be digitally altered, you still have to shoot something in the real world.  You can't make an actor look like a few lines and a burst of color in a film (excluding animated films).

                The Kalman photographs utilized photography's ability to digitally alter the color of the subjects.  I chose to utilize drawings ability to abandon realism entirely and use colors that are "unnatural."  I wanted to communicate an image through indicative images rather than realistic representations.  That is a strength of illustration.  It is almost instinctive.

                Most people begin drawing indicatively.  Stick figures do not actually look like people. Each line represents an arm, a leg, a torso, or a circle for the head, but legs are not perfectly straight lines, and heads are not spherical.  All you have to do is clue the viewer in on what the image represents.  You have to give just enough for a person to be able to tell what it is you are representing, but you do not have try to make it look like a photograph, and we accept that.

                Like the painting "1225" by the artist who goes by the internet name of grey90, my intention was to use simple lines and splashes of color to create a feeling and an idea.  In both my drawing and "1225" the color is not contained by the lines, but they are still working together.  That is a style I think is fairy unique to illustration. 

                People feared that photography would be the end of drawing and painting, but that has not been the case at all.  It is true that the average modern family is more likely to get a family photo taken than to commission a family portrait, but as an art form, illustration has simply explored deeper into its potential to express things in a surreal way.  Saying that photography is better than illustration because it is more realistic is about as annoying as people saying that books are always better than movies.  They are too different to compare that directly.

Historical Story

Historical Story Text

Artist's Statement

                This project reminded me a bit of the popular BBC TV series Doctor Who, which features many fictional episodes that take place amidst significant historical events.  It is my opinion that when you are writing historical fiction, you need to ensure that it is as historically accurate as possible, including the details.  If you ignore the actual history in the name of taking "artistic liberties" with everything, then the reality is lost and it just feels fake.  For example, in our script, the actors receive papers with only their lines, not the whole script, and there is a lead actor, rather than a director.  Be creative, but within the rules of the world of your story.

                We consulted two texts from my bookshelf.  We checked Living Theatre by Edwin Wilson and Alvin Goldfarb to make sure that we understood the laws and customs of the time period correctly, particularly regarding the current culture of theatre.   We checked the dates and made sure that they really would have been using Shakespeare's work.  After making sure of that and deciding to reference Hamlet, we consulted The Riverside Shakespeare which contains and contextualizes all of Shakespeare's work to select the section we wanted to quote.

                One thing that stands out to me is the universality of themes.  In our script taking place in the 1600s, theatre is illegal and considered highly immoral.  Our main character thinks of it as lying.  Even now, when theatre is definitely legal, I have encountered antagonism from others who say that certain acting jobs I are "lying" or dishonorable for other reasons.  A relatively harmless example is that one of my current jobs is playing a princess at parties and events.  I was told by a friend that it was wrong to do that because it was dishonest and I was using my talents for "purely commercial purposes."  I really thought about what they said.  At the next large event, I realized that that was not the case.  I legitimately felt the Spirit as I watched these little children light up.  I remember one little girl in particular.  I asked her if she was a princess too.  She looked down and I could legitimately see the lack of self-worth in her eyes.  She couldn't have been more than 5 and she already disliked herself.  She said, "No."  I made a confused face and said, "Really?  Because you're beautiful like a princess."  She looked up at me, stunned.  I continued, "Yes, you definitely seem like a princess to me.  Are you a princess?" I asked again.  She paused, considering what I had said, then she stood up straighter and her face lit up in a wide grin as she said, "Yes," nodding.  I meant it.  She was beautiful, and she was the daughter of a King.  That experience reinforced the same lesson for me that the main character in our script learns.  There is great truth within fiction.

Process Piece

Cryogenic Freezing

Round Robin

Round Robin

#1  The Unlucky Duck Finds His Love Unrequited

There once was a duck who had terrible luck

Until he met the girl of his dreams.

He did not realize that she was a hawk.

Nothing is quite as it seems.

#2  

Once carefree and lazy, a bundle of daisies

Uprooted for love, admiring our scent

He took his chances, but she spurned his advances

So into the garbage we went.

#3  Her

For as everyone knew, she was a rebel: a player: a man-eater.

The ghosts of her past boyfriends huddled in cages,

Their corpses lay strewn on the ground with open mouths;

Their redded lips the only dying roses on their graves.

All with their eyes exed out, but none quite as smeared as hers.

And yet she ate on, one doomed heart after another,

Until eventually they all knew they were ghosts before they started.

#4  

“I want to I want to!”

He kicked and he screamed.

What harm could one more do?

And I turned on the screen. 

Five minutes later I realized my blunder. 

Shame brought me down low 

As I looked on in wonder

At a ghost of the boy who was never told no.

#5  

A ghost.

Or is it a spirit.Is there a difference?Or are they the same?I don't know if I believe in ghosts.But I do know I see something.And it's coming my way.

Artist's Statement

                I loved this assignment.  The first night, I stayed up writing a plethora of tiny stories just for fun, much to the amusement of my roommates.  All of the tiny stories I wrote that first night were short, humorous, and a bit morbid in a strangely lighthearted way.  I realize now that that is also an eerily accurate description of me as a person.  I was a little surprised by the stories I received from my classmates, perhaps because somewhere deep down I expected their stories to be similar to mine.  That's a pretty stupid expectation, considering that we are vastly different people with different tastes and inclinations as artists and writers.

                 My favorite part of this project was every time that I received a tiny story from one of my classmates and exclaimed, "This is so good!"  It was fun to see and be proud of my classmates' and friends' work.  Even the stories that dealt with heavier subject matter were fun and exciting to read because, as was stated in the reading, "Whenever humanity tries to really grapple with the deep issues... it becomes a game."  This project highlighted that truth really well.  I think this is a fantastic form to deliver heavy messages in because I suspect that most people at any given moment throughout their day would rather read 4 lines about destructive parenting than 4 pages.  Our messages might get through more clearly if we don't wear out our welcome with our audiences by going on and on about depressing subjects in a didactic manner.

                This project reminded me of Pinterest in a way.  I know, most people use it for the purposes of finding low calorie recipes and DIY projects involving mason jars, but the first 7 boards on my Pinterest are concepts for projects I either have directed/written or am currently preparing to direct/write.  http://www.pinterest.com/thelizardofoz/  Each image on those boards is a picture that a stranger created.  Someone else found that image inspiring for their own project, and someone else pinned it from them, and on and on it went until I found it and added it to my own series of images that it relates to in a way that none of the other people the image has gone through have probably thought of.  Like the collaborative series of tiny stories we created for this project, we all saw different connections and bits of inspiration in the stories created by one another.

                I have never been a big fan of group projects, but I enjoyed this one.  I feel like I really learned and benefited from sharing this train of thought with my classmates.

Music Mosaic

Music Mosaic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vX2NYgZUUoY

Artist's Statement

                When listening to Only the Winds by Olafur Arnalds, I was very aware of each instrument's entrance into the piece, as well as its disappearance.  I distinctly felt the absence of each specific kind of sound once it had been there in the music and had faded away.  In last week's reading, Dillard talked about being able to see the things around you.  Only the Winds led me to think about not being able to see what is not there.  I think that it can often be even harder to really see what is missing than it is to see what is present.  I decided to photograph the absence of things; Emptiness.

                Like the music video for Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips, all of the images I created for this project are definitely related, but not sequential.  I am not trying to convey a narrative, just an idea.  For example, the image of the candle that has just been blown out is missing a flame.  I am not a fan of displaying candles that don't get used.  They look so artificial and empty to me.  The boots outside of the door are missing someone to wear them.  They are clearly empty.  The girl lying in bed is missing someone to lay with, leaving the bed half empty.  Each image conveys a different emptiness.  It is not until the final image that the subject appears aware of her surrounding emptiness.  

                Only the Winds has a bit of a lamenting quality to it, but it could easily be interpreted as expressing many different emotions.  I think that degree of emotional ambiguity suits the theme of emptiness.  Loss and absence are incredibly intriguing in that they often engender mixed feelings.  You do not miss something without reminiscing about how good it was when you had it.  It is different in every situation and for every person.

                The music is instrumental, meaning that there are no lyrics, and therefore no language barrier.  It is a song that can be understood universally.  Emptiness is also a universal human experience.  We have all felt the absence of someone or something.  Most of us have also probably chosen at one time or another, not to see the absence of that someone or something.  Denial can be very comfortable.  I imagine that almost any person in the world today could look at the image of the girl laughing and talking with an empty chair over dinner and understand, if not even relate.

Thinking & Writing: Electra Heart

Thinking &Writing:  Electra Heart

            Electra Heart is an album by British artist Marina Lambrini Diamandis, popularly known as Marina and the Diamonds.  All 14 tracks on the album are about destructive yet popular ideas in our modern society, and are written from the perspective of someone who accepts the damaging ideas.  The brilliance of the album is in the "cracks."

            Most of the songs are written so that at the most surface level, it sounds like she is endorsing the idea she is singing about, but if you pay attention, there are cracks in the facade.  There are moments when the underlying, hidden damage is briefly revealed.  For example, in the song Teen Idle, Marina sings in the style of a peppy cheerleader,

"I feel super, super, super! (Suicidal)"

            In Power and Control she sings,

"A human vulnerability

Doesn't mean that I am weak,

That I am weak, I am weak,

I am weak, I am weak, weak,

weak, weak, weak, weak,"

When listening casually to the song it just sounds like she is reiterating that she is not weak, but that is not what she actually keeps saying.  What she keeps saying is, "I am weak."

            Sometimes, it seems like every artist feels the need to release a song either blatantly condemning the objectification of women in media, or proudly objectifying themselves because, hey, sex sells.  Lilly Allen did the first with her shocking song Hard Out Here, and Kelis did the second with the ever so thinly veiled euphemistic track, Milkshake.  Marina is an interesting artist because she is sort of doing both, and sort of doing neither.  Her pattern of writing is that she sometimes seems to be saying one thing, but is really saying another.  That is not what a large percentage of current radio audiences are used to.

            What a large percentage of audiences are used to is songs that promote consequence-less, care-free partying.  Marina's version of that archetypal song is informed by a different track on Electra Heart.  The song is called Shampain, and contains the lyrics,

"Drinking champagne made by the angel

Who goes by the name of Glittering Gabriel

Drinking champagne made of an angel's

Tears and pain, but I feel celestial"

With the upbeat and celebratory music, it sounds like the "eat, drink, and be merry," lifestyle is being glorified, and I have seen it interpreted that way.  However, in the title, "champagne" is spelled "shampain," and without the music making everything sound great, some of the other lyrics themselves are extremely dark.

"Lay dagger dead inside a lonely bed

Trying to hide the hole inside my head

Watching the starts slide down to reach the end

The sleep is not my friend"

 Furthermore, in the music video she is wearing the same dress that she wears in the music video for Fear and Loathing, a song about suicide on the album Electra Heart.  The dress connects the two songs, telling a story about a girl who drank and partied all night, but did not feel any better when the night ended.  All these elements make it abundantly clear that Marina does not actually support that lifestyle.

            Why would Marina want to make her listeners pay attention to get some of the messages, instead of making it more straight forward?  She fills her music with contradictions because society is full of contradictions.  We receive so many messages that do not make any sense.  A feminist woman should dress and act masculinely to prove that femininity is just as good.  A woman should "embrace her own sexuality" by dressing revealingly and behaving promiscuously because then she won't be seen as a sexual object.  We do not want to make decisions about people based on race, so we ask everyone what race they are so that we make sure to let enough minorities into colleges.  The list goes on and on.

            All of these solutions just reinforce the problems in bizarre, round- about ways.  We have all heard the expression "Art imitates life."  Electra Heart is a reflection of the confused time we live in.

            We live in a time when society is realizing how flawed it has been and still is.  We are trying to fix things, and that is where all the contradictions and confusion comes from.  We want to make things better, but we do not actually know which direction to go to do that, so we end up with these inconsistent ideas.  A big part of this corrective movement is the idea that anyway you choose to live your own personal life is okay, and will make you happier than following societal "rules".  That seems like a nice sentiment, but it has created a whole lot of people who are claiming freedom from restriction, but are really just causing themselves more hurt, as is reflected in the music of Electra Heart.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vHi83LTQjU